Meeting someone from an app for the first time: a safety checklist
PingMee team · · 3 min read
Most first meet-ups with someone you met online are perfectly ordinary: a coffee, a walk, a good chat. A few simple habits keep it that way, whether you're meeting a potential friend, a date or a professional contact. Here's the checklist we'd follow.
Before you meet
Take a little time to get a feel for the person first. You don't need weeks of messages, but a short chat helps you decide whether you actually want to meet.
- Chat in the app first, and keep it there until you're comfortable sharing your number
- If something doesn't add up (their story changes, they push for personal details), slow down
- Consider a quick video call before meeting; it confirms they are who they say they are
- Don't share your home address, workplace details or financial information
- Never send money to someone you haven't met, whatever the reason
Red flags to watch for
Most people are exactly who they say they are. A few patterns are worth noticing, though, and none of them needs explaining away.
- They pressure you to move off the app quickly or to meet somewhere private
- They avoid a video call or always have a reason their camera doesn't work
- They ask for money, gift cards or help with a financial problem
- They get angry or sulky when you say no or set a boundary
- Their photos, age or story don't match what they tell you
Choosing the place
The first meeting should be somewhere public, busy and easy to leave. Daytime is easiest. Good options include a busy café, a park with plenty of people around, a market or a museum.
Our area guides list good public spots for a first meet-up: for example around Camden, Islington or Hackney.
- Pick a public place you know, close to transport
- Get there and home on your own: don't accept a lift the first time
- Avoid anywhere secluded, and never meet at either person's home the first time
Tell someone
Let a friend know where you're going, who you're meeting and roughly when you expect to be done. Share the person's profile name with them. Agree to message when you're on your way home. It takes thirty seconds and gives you a backstop if anything feels off.
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During the meet-up
Keep an eye on your drink and your belongings, and keep your phone charged. Drink as much or as little as you like, but stay in control. If you feel uncomfortable at any point, you're allowed to leave, no explanation needed.
- Trust your gut; you don't owe anyone your time
- Keep the first meeting short: a coffee or a walk, not a whole day
- If you feel unsafe, ask staff for help or call 999 in an emergency
Afterwards
Message your friend to say you're home. If it went well, great: suggest another plan. If it didn't, it's fine to say so politely, or simply not to arrange another meeting.
If someone made you uncomfortable, harassed you or broke the rules, report and block them in the app. Reports help keep everyone else safe too.
How PingMee is set up to help
PingMee is designed so that you stay in control from the first hello. Nobody sees your exact location: only an approximate distance. Nothing private opens up until you've both accepted each other, so a ping only becomes a conversation when it's mutual. You can block or report anyone at any time, and our team reviews reports.
That works whatever you're looking for: new friends, a relationship or networking. See how meeting people nearby works, or read our guides to making friends in London and your first month in London.
Questions
Where is the safest place to meet someone from an app?
A busy public place you know, during the day, close to transport: a café, a popular park, a market or a museum. Never someone's home the first time.
Should I tell someone I'm meeting a person from an app?
Yes. Tell a friend where you're going, who you're meeting and when you expect to be home, and message them when you're back.
What should I do if someone makes me uncomfortable?
Leave whenever you like. You don't need a reason. Afterwards, report and block them in the app. If you're ever in danger, call 999.